Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Love From Jenn Quilt

After I wrote this post I went to bed thinking about all that I should have said, and how I have a profound inability to express my thoughts and feelings. 
My words seem inadequate somehow.
This is the best I could muster at describing, re-telling the event but also leaving out all the little moments that to me are big ones, but just crowd the story. 
Gawd I wish I was better at this writing stuff.
But here goes......

This is a story I want to share, shouting out loudly about how much love I have in my life.

Last year a very special person; a friend, a mother, a part of the community, a fellow book club member and so so much more,  that words would never do it justice, lost her battle with cancer.
I can safely say, I don't think I have learned so much from one single person as I have learned from her.
The way she lived her live and her death has forever changed me.
Her strength and her power for love has changed the world as I know it.

Jennifer Zahavich wrote an inspiring blog, I think it's something everyone should read.
It will tell her story much better than I ever could here.
I can hear her voice when I read it.
That is comforting.

Among the many things Jenn enjoyed, quilting was something we shared.
Not many people our age do this sort of art, so we found a kinship in this together.

When she was diagnosed again, Jenn started making quilts for those she loved.
Unfortunately she wasn't able to finish them all.

I was given her sewing box, a genuine treasure for me.
I found in there a few quilts that had not been completed, and a few ideas of ones she hadn't started.
I scratched out the time over the next couple of months to finish them and give them to the intended recipients.
I think this was my way of spreading her love.

One special quilt was designated for the YANA auction last year.
Jenn had cut out the blocks for her signature heart piece.
All the fabric was there, it just needed to be put together.

                                         This is Jenn and I at last years auction.
                                         This was just 2 weeks before she past.

It turned out to be an amazing project for me.

Another friend and I took on the quilt as a tribute for Jenn and completed it for the annual auction held this past weekend.

 I love how it turned out.
The colours are so Jenn.

 Every part speaks of her.

 I had a patch made for her foundation that is just getting started, Love From Jenn.

It was morphed from "Love For Jenn" that was started for all the fundraising that friends and the community did, in order to help with alternative treatments and the financial support needed to help Jenn, Dave and Coady through that time.

After much hard work and admit-ably some worry and stress, I feel the quilt turned out perfect.

Then came the auction night.
The quilt was set for the live portion of the night and got quite an emotion lead up before bidding began.
I listened to the biding, and was proud of that quilt.
 I had a moment where I felt I should bid myself.
I sort of wanted the quilt, felt kind of attatched.

Many don't know that my special, personal quilt Jenn had made for me, I had given away to another friend who I felt really deserved one, someone who would appreciate it as much if not more.

So I had a little place in my heart that really wanted this one.
But I knew in the spirit of Jenn this quilt was for YANA and the monies raised will help a family in difficult times.
I sat listening to the bids, the auctioneer going higher and higher,
I felt deep satisfaction that all the work was worth it.
That it was doing everything Jenn had wanted it to do.
I let the quilt go, so to speak, and was proud to know I had helped Jenn spread love.
I was moved beyond words.
Happy doesn't quite sum it up.

I took a deep breathe but had to head to the little girls room to let out some pent up tears.

 I found out a friend of a friend had bought the quilt and I was glad it was going to a great home.

Later on, as the auction night festivities were dying out we were called to a group circle.
A closed circle of dear friends and book club women.
People who all mean so much to me, each one so special and I am grateful to have in my life. 
I feel blessed to be a part of such a powerful, loving, talented, diversely amazing group of ladies.
All dressed up and having fun, we hugged and laughed and said thank you for such a great night.
I felt so much love and spirit in that moment.

Then I noticed Mel's eye water and everyone started to look at me.
I knew in that second.

Lucy pulled out the quilt.
I was speechless and elated.
Ingrid said I buckled on her, but I don't recall.
They passed me the quilt, saying it was meant to be mine.


Then they proceeded to tell me the rest of the story.

My dearest, most thoughtful, love of my life, husband bought it.
He had given Mel a blank cheque to buy it for me.
She worked out a pretty good gig, I was absolutely non the wiser.

He knew what it meant and how much I put into it.
He said he wanted it to be mine.
That is the power of the love in my world.

I cried off and on the rest of the night and into the next day.
I couldn't believe that he had done that.
I mean I could believe it, he's just like that...always.
He always puts others first, he is considerate, genuine and kind to a fault, (not that that could ever be a fault).
A huge act of thoughtfulness and love.
He was so excited he said he couldn't even sleep. (cute)

How do I ever say thank you enough?
I realized that because I have always loved him so much, it is hard to love him even more, but somehow he did it.
A whole new level of respect, heart, and love.
He is everything I could ever dream of.
He is my everything.
Thank you to all  my friends who made this moment.
Thank you Jesse for making my world perfect.


  1. all is as it should be. i love reading your posts Sarah... you made me reflect on Jenn's voice--I miss her--i miss her voice-- i didn't realize it was only two weeks after YANA last year that Jenn left us..
    it was very incredible witnessing the moment you realized what Lucy had for you...
    love through and through and all around.
    all love my beautiful friend xo IW