Sitting in a gymnasium today watching a Christmas Band concert with my two girls I was overcome with joy, nostalgia and then a sort of fear.
Both the girls were excited and entranced watching the kids playing all the instruments and singing wonderful seasonal diddies, but I kept finding my mind wondering.
This was the same gym that 20 years ago I had awkwardly ran around in, in my youth and teen- aged angst.
Now here I am a mother and 20 years older, thinking that any one of these kids I was listening to could one day be one of our girls.
I looked at each playing teen separately and tried to guess which one my girls would most be like.
The gangely girl who couldn't lift her eyes off the floor.
Or the boisterous beauty flamboyantly belting out a song from Journey that is even older than me.
Who would they be attracted to?
The slick boy playing the sax or the boy singing in the choir doing a solo with pride?
Would they even be in the band?
What will my girls have to look forward too in their futures?
What will the world be like for them?
Not thinking about the state of the earth, or food or politics because...well do not get me started on that whole train of thought...but;
Am I doing enough for them, to help and guide them into this crazy world?
Am I supporting and nurturing them so that they too can become all that they aspire to?
Can I be confident that I am not squashing their potentials and that my decisions today will result in better tomorrows?
Did my parents ever think of this kind of stuff?
Am I giving them all that they need to navigate through society and deal with people and life, to be able to make responsible, educated, respectful and conscientious decisions to better themselves in this world?
To be able to live full, rich fabulous lives content and assured that they are perfect just because they are who they are?
I want to teach them everything I can, I want to give them everything I can, I want them to be the happiest, smartest most loved beings on the earth and know that no matter what we love and cherish them.
Is that enough?